I have a problem that most people have experienced at least once in their lives. It’s a bit of a cliché but I’m in love with someone I can’t be with.
It’s a pretty hideous situation; he’s 12 years older than me (I’m 18), a teacher at my friend’s college and is in a steady relationship with a really sweet woman that I know he loves a lot. I have accepted that we’ll never be together; more than anything I would not want to be responsible for breaking him up from his girlfriend since I know they are really happy together and if I was her I would be gutted if some kid came and stole him from me.
The problem is that (and I know this is a terrible cliché) I actually believe he might be my soulmate. He’s not my teacher but he volunteers at a local theatre (which is where I know him from) and from the very first moment I saw him, something just clicked. He’s the perfect person, so kind and sweet, not to mention totally fucking gorgeous and everytime I see him my heart jumps. I never feel as good as I do when I’m with him and I get physical pain whenever we say goodbye.
He has no idea that I am in love with him and I don’t want to do anything to compromise his relationship with his girlfriend. I’m not a homewrecker and I couldn’t do that but I have no idea how to move on from him and find someone else. Everyone keeps telling me to just get a boyfriend to distract me from him or stop seeing him. Both are impossible; I’d have to move away to stop seeing him (which isn’t feasible) and I’m just not attracted to anyone else. In fact, I’m not even interested in anyone else. The rest of the world seems unimportant compared to him.
I really hate feeling this way and I wish I could get over him and move on. It’s ruining my life and stopping me from doing things because I am so hung up on him all the time. His girlfriend is the luckiest woman in the world. L
Any advice is appreciated.
X-posted because I need all the help I can get...